OVER AND OUT

OK. It's over. I'm out of the closet. Well, I went out en femme for the first time in any case. So that's out of the tranny closet as far as I am concerned. Everyone told me it would be great and I believed them. They were right. I can't remember when I had so much fun going out.

In fact I went out twice in a very short space of time- both times to Pink Punters. A really wonderful friend encouraged me to get dressed as a girl and go out, lent me some clothes and took me there. Thank you! I am eternally grateful.

I won't bore you with the details but I danced, learnt to like bacardi breezers, met a few other trannies and a lesbian or two ( well you can never tell can you?), danced, chatted and laughed.
The bar staff there are fantastic as are all the staff there. They really make you feel, well ,not at home but at a great place where you are liked.

I loved being able to get my purse out to buy drinks. To carry my handbag around and to apply my makeup in the toilets. I even applied it in the girls' toilets and no-one batted an eyelid,well they were batting eyelids, staring into the mirror, adjusting skirts and frantically trying to make themselves even more gorgeous than they were. A couple of the genetic girls looked back at me for a second then carried on adjusting skirts. Perhaps I shouldn't have gone in the ladies' but I had a few drinks and was on such a high in any case that I wanted to experience everything womanly. Well, not everything! Just the going out bits.

On arrival at the club we were greeted by the bouncers with "Evening ladies, have a great night" To hear someone say that remark to me felt really great. It was like a protective welcome from a big brother to a little sister and I'd never experienced that before, quite a reversal of my normal experience.

I felt safe,welcome and as the night wore on even a bit tarty. Alcohol can make one feel like a king, in my case like a bloody princess. My feminine side was having a field day. Something I thought would never really materialise.

It was a sense of elation. I love Julie! Or Gabriela, whatever my femme name is now. To feel accepted even knowing that I wouldn't pass, even on a foggy night in the queue for the opticians, was a wonderful feeling.

My friend was great, dancing away and making sure I felt great, even lent me some lipstick when I needed it.

The basement dance floor was booming with noise that shook the giant speakers off the floor. there was some pole dancing and lots of chat everywhere.

We spoke to some girls who refused to be categorised as Goths or non-Goths. They were pretty cool. We also spoke to a poor lass who had spent £150 getting a taxi from Watford that night. She had only heard about PP that day and didn't even know where Milton Keynes was. She was very worried about her sexual orientation. So we told her just to be herself, that everyone is different. She was sat there amongst trannies. I am sure we put her straight.

I didn't see a drink in her hand so I asked if she was drinking. She said yes. I couldn't see any drink, so I said WHAT are you drinking? So she said "thank you very much, I'll have a bacardi and coke". I fell for that one didn't I?

So. It's over. No more waiting to go out for the first time. And I'm out, even though to only a few.
It's the start of the yellow brick road to the end of the rainbow. The tin man, the straw man and the lion got what they wanted all along: it was a no brainer to go out en femme. A new lease of life and I felt like a new man just accepting my feminine side and I got the courage to go out.

Thank you to my friend, to Pink Punters and it's punters.

Gabriela Julie Budd
xx