The trouble with closets

THIS DRAFT WAS WRITTEN ABOUT FOUR MONTHS EARLIER, BEFORE MY FIRST OUTING EN FEMME

Er... if you are a plumber you have been misled by Google. On the other hand if you are a plumber and a transvestite, hang around or take a seat, no not THAT one, not the throne.

I am a closet trannie so I've never been out dressed as a girl. That's OK to get rid of some stress, OK, a lot of stress and one can make friends with other trannies on the Internet. That cannot be the same as going out dressed en femme and meeting other trannies.

It's a damned sight easier staying at home as one can pretend one doesn't see a bit of stubble in the closet. But getting your tits out, putting on the glitz and going means that you have to make a real effort if you are not to be laughed out. I went to Pink Punters a few weeks ago to the Girls' Night Out (previously Big Night Out).

I was dressed en drab but still had a good time. I probably spooked out a couple of trannies by chatting to them because I was en drab. Especially the poor ( and very attractive) gurl dressed in black who was sat in the corner and I said ( like you do) " Are you on your own or have you just escaped from a group?"

"Are you on your own?"OMG ! That is a chat up line so she must have been a bit phased but was none-the-less polite. If you were that gurl, I apologise and by the way, where did you get that great dress?

OK I digress, sorry. My point is: Being in the closet is rotten because no-one gets to tell you how gorgeous your clothes are or how well you may pass. It's rotten because you have to hide your girlie habits; you don't get to meet like minded transgendered folks; You can't dance on a dance floor like a girl; You are undermining your own personality because of an element of guilt- a guilty secret; You don't go out as you want to be seen; you miss out on friends.

The alternative is harder- You need to overcome your fear of being ridiculed or outed or spotted by friends or neighbours. You need to put in hours of preparation and you've got to convince your Significant Other that it's a good idea to go en femme.

What should I do? Find like minded gurls to go out with to make the pain less. Have a few stiff drinks. Get some friendly/professional advice on clothes and make up. Convince yourself you are worth it.


POST SCRIPT
Since my draft post I have been out several times en femme. I didn't experience any problems with other members of the public. I felt liberated. I know I didn't pass and I did get a few strange looks but only out of curiosity (maybe it was like"Do I know that guy?").

It was worth the risk. The adrenaline rush was fantastic . A whole new world was opened up for me. Well, people have often asked what planet I'm on. It took a lot of nerve, I won't say it was easy but I will ask " Why the hell didn't I do it before?" (That's a rhetorical question by the way, I don't often ask myself questions- ha! as if I would know the answers!)

So if you are in the same boat, don't worry, don't get cold feet, just jump in with both feet. Well, you will get cold feet because you are in a boat and the water will be very cold, unless you are lucky to be in a hot climate and then you wouldn't be in the same boat as me.

If you are planning for your first outing en femme:
DO make a big effort to look good.
DO get help from other trannies, other genetic girls or even geriatric girls.
DO try to meet up with others before you go so that you don't get cold feet ( see above- no pun intended).
Don't worry that you won't pass- that is not the point, the point is to make an effort.
Don't panic: Do smile nicely to everyone.
Don't try to ape the mannerisms of a genetic girl.
DO try to act less like a bloke ( Sitting with legs astride, swearing loudly, leering at women and farting is less acceptable in a dress).
Do take a handbag and a purse.
Don't take all your make up with you.
Don't try to talk in a Monty Python falsetto voice.
Do lower the volume of your voice.
Don't drink pints (or if you must , make it pints of Bacardi Breezer or Creme de Menthe).
Do enjoy yourself.
Don't keep thinking people are staring at you , they probably are but won't want you to notice them, or they may be admiring your outfit or wondering why your tights are over your dress.
Don't worry:what's the worst thing that can happen to you?
OK, apart from being snogged by a burly barrel-chested drunk called Kevin?


Gabriela Julie Budd
xx