AN UPDATE

Just an update. I've been going to Pink Punters about every two weeks for some time now and am loving it. I can totally relax there, dance as I wish and act as I want without feeling that I have to moderate my behaviour, appearance or activities just because I'm actually a guy and may upset others. I get a few strange looks by irregular attendees but on the whole everyone treats me fairly and without prejudice.

I actually like people who are confused by my appearance (and dancing) to ask me questions.

One gay young man told me he was gay and liked men but couldn't understand why I would want to dress up as a female. A club is not the ideal place for a long detailed discussion but I told him that inwardly I was far more comfortable as a female and loved to be treated that way.

I suppose it is a signal to outsiders how you want to be perceived and treated. But really it is about how I feel and I wear clothes that I feel good in, not to cater for anybody else's tastes, although it is very enjoyable to receive compliments.

I now wear eye make up and lipstick quite often when I am out and about, still dressed in drab.

So far people have been far more tolerant than I expected and of course they are more preoccupied with their own busy lives. I would like to put myself forward to publicise the problems transgendered people face. Unfortunately I have to consider the feelings of my family and wouldn't want to cause them any anguish by being more in the public eye.

Having accepted my feminine side I can now be happier being a guy and appreciating everything

that is good and enjoyable for guys. Most men are different and likewise most women are different. However, so many women can be bitchy- its part of their genetic make-up- whereas men will generally have a confrontation with another man and sort any problems in a direct and more final way. I am no bitch (despite the way I am treated!) but neither do I resolve things directly. I just hate conflict.

I have come into more contact with transgendered men who are transitioning. One part of me feels very worried for them. The other part of me admires their courage to change their lives so drastically in order to be happy. I've recently read that all transgendered, whatever they label themselves, can only be happy if they transition and if they call themselves " bi-gendered", they are kidding themselves that they will be happy that way.

I consider myself bi-gendered and could never see my self transitioning but it is food for thought.

Gabriela

xx

How I told my work colleagues I was a tranny.
Or I wish I were in your shoes.

I've been neglecting my blog but maybe that's a healthy sign as I am probably not dwelling on the trials and tribs. of being a tranny and just getting on with it and not soul searching about it so much.


In December I was attending an office party and decided that I was not going to hide the fact I was tranny to my work colleagues any more. So I sent an email to a friendly face there with a picture of me in a gorgeous Vivien of Holloway dress and thanked her for the loan of the hat, which she assumed had been for someone else.
She came back very politely and asked me what the occasion was and I told her about the Christmas party at The Bridge Inn saying " It was for trannies and there were 40 of us there."

Within minutes the email had been sent to different people in the office and one of the girls told me I looked good as a woman and praised my make up. I told her I managed it by a lot of practice.

None of the guys mentioned anything to me and only one woman quizzed me at the Christmas party. She wanted to know about my sexual leanings and I kept it simple and said I wasn't interested in guys, which is true but it is more complicated than that.
Then I expressed surprise that no-one was shocked by my email. She replied " What did you expect? After all, it is XXXXX that you work for. "

After Christmas I expected one or two people to make unhelpful comments and innuendos but it never happened. I don't work full time there so perhaps all the gossip was made when I wasn't around and perhaps hey all have interesting and more colourful lives than I imagine. It obviously helped that they had a week or more to get over it.

The great thing is that now I don't need to pretend and if I want to I can wear jewellery and perhaps some make up if I want to and no-one is going to get over-excited by it- because everyone knows about it and so it wouldn't be a big deal. I think trannies/ transgendered people can be their own worst enemies by treating it as a big deal. As Eddie Izzard said, " It is the 21st century" so people had better get over it and not be " clothes fascists".

I'm not saying all transgendered people should tell everyone they know. Life is far more complicated than that. If we can confide in a few individuals it makes life so much more rewarding.

I met a lovely couple and their daughter at PP last Saturday. Michele, who prefers the term transgendered to tranny or transvestite, has been hounded by some members of the local police and by quite a few busy-bodies who thought they were doing the general public a lot of good and actually suggested that her wife leave Michele. How misguided can some people be?

I am lucky in that few people know about Gabriela in my local community so I manage to get out during the day and at night to the larger community in Milton Keynes where I can blend in with the general public. I've learnt to dress more discretely during the day and that one doesn't have to glam up every time one goes out. The first step is accepting yourself for what you are. Maybe that is the hardest step to take.

A couple of days ago one of my female colleagues asked me if I was wearing eye-liner. I explained I had worn some the previous day and thought I had washed it off. " Oh, it never comes completely off. You look really cool with it. It suits you"

A week ago I attended a business meeting outside my office and decided to wear eye-make up and lipstick. It was a one to one meeting and we had met once before a few months ago. I decided not to apologise or make excuses or explanations about wearing the make up and it worked in my favour. He was obviously unnerved by it at first but managed to calm down and we conducted business successfully. It was a rather clammy and cold handshake that he had at the end though. As far as work goes, I don't intend to suddenly go to work dressed as a woman. But the gates have been opened and if there are more social functions I will consider at least wearing make up and wearing heels. One tottering step at a time.