A Quiet Night in Amsterdam


I apologise for the quality of the photo, but it's not often I have a six foot Indonesian ladyboy hanging on to my er...every word.
She is Suki and is one of the barmaids and entertainer's at Le Lebelle's in Amsterdam, a tranny bar where Sam, Suzie, Yvonne and I celebrated my birthday last month.
there I danced, drank and chatted with some very colourful characters, including an ex mega drug dealer who was a friend of Mr Nice, a world famous drug dealer turned public speaker.

Thank you ladies, for such a fabulous birthday and holiday. Suzie, your party piece was just jaw dropping!

I celebrated for at least a week and visited a great bar called Mellow Mela where we danced to a rock/blues/jazz jamming session to the early hours.

I haven't posted much this year but I've been out and about a lot. I go just about anywhere as a girl as well as a boy.

I've travelled abroad by plane as a girl and attended a football match as a girl for the first time this week.

I've incorporated a lot of my femme side into my male side and life is so much more fun and fulfilling and honest than keeping the two separated. I have been lucky in that I have not had any really bad experiences with aggressive types but I am aware that there is always a danger of that kicking off. My tranny friends agree that if one shows confidence when in drag, it is more easily accepted by Joe Public.

I have noticed that quite a few trannies dress really well as a girl but then make no effort at all as a guy. I have heard the comment that " I couldn't care less what I look like as a guy" and I find that hard to understand. I think we should all embrace both sides of our personalities.
OK lecture over.

I love Amsterdam for its people, bars, cafes, bicycles and laid back attitude. I feel very tempted to say that I am going Dutch and I love Edam and eve and even that I Goda quite often but don't want to clog this post with puns or double Dutch entendres.

Gabriel Julie Budd xx

Motown, this year, some time in the future

I just discovered this link to anyone interested in Northern Soul and Motown music.

BBC iPlayer - Northern Soul with Ian Gray: 19/12/2010

I also noticed that I haven't made many posts this year. It has actually been a busy year with some major changes in my life - no not THAT! I will try harder to make more posts next year.

That's me about to go to the Enigma Ball in Bletchley Park, November 2010.


I will say that I have published pics of me as Gabriela on my male Facebook page . I did it because I wasn't comfortable about having to keep an important part of my life a secret any more. I felt that as I am not ashamed of what I do and do not think it wrong in any way, I should follow my convictions and not bow to the prejudice, perceived or real, of society.


I know that there will be smirks from friends and relatives, as being transgendered is still largely an area of ignorance in most people's lives. I hope the more open minded ones will realise that perhaps it is more common than they have thought in the past, as now there is one in their own family or circle of friends. Perhaps this may help a few more people towards more understanding of transgendered people.

In time I hope that society will just accept that everyone is different.


Gabriela xx

NAIL DIVA'S GARDEN PARTY

August 2010
Attended Nail Diva's second Garden Party. The Marquee had been set up and everything was ready to go on Friday 20 August when a gale literally blew the marquee down and turned it upside down.
http://www.tvchix.com/click.php?url=http://www.tg-world.co.uk
She & friends managed to get it all up again that night and it was a show-piece marquee in the end. No one (no names mentioned, Alex) took a camera as far as I was aware. Does that mean its not an official tranny event? Great food and smashing people. I hogged the dance floor and only went to bed when someone switched off the lights at 3:30 a.m.

Earlier I went shopping in little local village co-ops and no-one hinted that they had clocked me. Bless them! The next day I had a barrel of laughs when I went for a drink on my own at lunchtime at The Bolt Hole in Stamford, dressed in my Sunday best fuscia. One regular in the bar eyed me up and down thoroughly so I decided to give her a full view and twirled in front of her. She bent over in laughter and was unable to tell her friends why for laughing so hard. I decided to join her and her friends, met a biker and his daughter and had a really good chat with them. British pubs at their best. Later decided to shop at Tescos and on my way back passed the same pub. I heard one of them shout out " Yes, he has, he's shopped at Tesco's.. look!" Then they came out and shouted bye bye to me. I felt as if I had done a little bit more to make transgendered people more acceptable to the public.

BRIGHTON PRIDE
More lovely genuine people, giggles and laughs at Brighton Pride. Thanks to Jodi and Dani for a great weekend. Loved posing with punters for photos.Great fun transforming from a guy into Gabriela in the changing rooms at Pride camp site. Some of the looks I got were priceless and it was brill to get enthusiastic and encouraging remarks from those who witnessed the transformation.

Then on the Sunday decided to have some fun by pushing the bi-gendered boat out at Brighton Pier- by sunbathing on a deckchair as a guy in brief tomato red shorts and shocking pink toe and nail varnish. Ha! I loved seeing the faces of passers by as they spotted me. It is so easy to get into conversations when one seemingly doesn't give a toss what others think of one.

Latest update

Hi

The last few months have been traumatic. I've lost the love of my life and have been on automatic pilot. I decided to deal with it by meeting lots of people and enjoying the company of anyone who wants a chat or wants to make friends. The result has been lots of new friends and getting out to different places. Its also pushed me into thinking about what I want out of life and to be honest to be a little more selfish than I have been in the past.

I recently went to Nail Diva's party in Stamford, Pink Punters again and my first Pride event, in Brighton. There are lots of lovely people everywhere and I am finding out being single isn't the end of the world.

I'll add some more details as soon as I can.
Take care
Gabriela
xx

AN UPDATE

Just an update. I've been going to Pink Punters about every two weeks for some time now and am loving it. I can totally relax there, dance as I wish and act as I want without feeling that I have to moderate my behaviour, appearance or activities just because I'm actually a guy and may upset others. I get a few strange looks by irregular attendees but on the whole everyone treats me fairly and without prejudice.

I actually like people who are confused by my appearance (and dancing) to ask me questions.

One gay young man told me he was gay and liked men but couldn't understand why I would want to dress up as a female. A club is not the ideal place for a long detailed discussion but I told him that inwardly I was far more comfortable as a female and loved to be treated that way.

I suppose it is a signal to outsiders how you want to be perceived and treated. But really it is about how I feel and I wear clothes that I feel good in, not to cater for anybody else's tastes, although it is very enjoyable to receive compliments.

I now wear eye make up and lipstick quite often when I am out and about, still dressed in drab.

So far people have been far more tolerant than I expected and of course they are more preoccupied with their own busy lives. I would like to put myself forward to publicise the problems transgendered people face. Unfortunately I have to consider the feelings of my family and wouldn't want to cause them any anguish by being more in the public eye.

Having accepted my feminine side I can now be happier being a guy and appreciating everything

that is good and enjoyable for guys. Most men are different and likewise most women are different. However, so many women can be bitchy- its part of their genetic make-up- whereas men will generally have a confrontation with another man and sort any problems in a direct and more final way. I am no bitch (despite the way I am treated!) but neither do I resolve things directly. I just hate conflict.

I have come into more contact with transgendered men who are transitioning. One part of me feels very worried for them. The other part of me admires their courage to change their lives so drastically in order to be happy. I've recently read that all transgendered, whatever they label themselves, can only be happy if they transition and if they call themselves " bi-gendered", they are kidding themselves that they will be happy that way.

I consider myself bi-gendered and could never see my self transitioning but it is food for thought.

Gabriela

xx

How I told my work colleagues I was a tranny.
Or I wish I were in your shoes.

I've been neglecting my blog but maybe that's a healthy sign as I am probably not dwelling on the trials and tribs. of being a tranny and just getting on with it and not soul searching about it so much.


In December I was attending an office party and decided that I was not going to hide the fact I was tranny to my work colleagues any more. So I sent an email to a friendly face there with a picture of me in a gorgeous Vivien of Holloway dress and thanked her for the loan of the hat, which she assumed had been for someone else.
She came back very politely and asked me what the occasion was and I told her about the Christmas party at The Bridge Inn saying " It was for trannies and there were 40 of us there."

Within minutes the email had been sent to different people in the office and one of the girls told me I looked good as a woman and praised my make up. I told her I managed it by a lot of practice.

None of the guys mentioned anything to me and only one woman quizzed me at the Christmas party. She wanted to know about my sexual leanings and I kept it simple and said I wasn't interested in guys, which is true but it is more complicated than that.
Then I expressed surprise that no-one was shocked by my email. She replied " What did you expect? After all, it is XXXXX that you work for. "

After Christmas I expected one or two people to make unhelpful comments and innuendos but it never happened. I don't work full time there so perhaps all the gossip was made when I wasn't around and perhaps hey all have interesting and more colourful lives than I imagine. It obviously helped that they had a week or more to get over it.

The great thing is that now I don't need to pretend and if I want to I can wear jewellery and perhaps some make up if I want to and no-one is going to get over-excited by it- because everyone knows about it and so it wouldn't be a big deal. I think trannies/ transgendered people can be their own worst enemies by treating it as a big deal. As Eddie Izzard said, " It is the 21st century" so people had better get over it and not be " clothes fascists".

I'm not saying all transgendered people should tell everyone they know. Life is far more complicated than that. If we can confide in a few individuals it makes life so much more rewarding.

I met a lovely couple and their daughter at PP last Saturday. Michele, who prefers the term transgendered to tranny or transvestite, has been hounded by some members of the local police and by quite a few busy-bodies who thought they were doing the general public a lot of good and actually suggested that her wife leave Michele. How misguided can some people be?

I am lucky in that few people know about Gabriela in my local community so I manage to get out during the day and at night to the larger community in Milton Keynes where I can blend in with the general public. I've learnt to dress more discretely during the day and that one doesn't have to glam up every time one goes out. The first step is accepting yourself for what you are. Maybe that is the hardest step to take.

A couple of days ago one of my female colleagues asked me if I was wearing eye-liner. I explained I had worn some the previous day and thought I had washed it off. " Oh, it never comes completely off. You look really cool with it. It suits you"

A week ago I attended a business meeting outside my office and decided to wear eye-make up and lipstick. It was a one to one meeting and we had met once before a few months ago. I decided not to apologise or make excuses or explanations about wearing the make up and it worked in my favour. He was obviously unnerved by it at first but managed to calm down and we conducted business successfully. It was a rather clammy and cold handshake that he had at the end though. As far as work goes, I don't intend to suddenly go to work dressed as a woman. But the gates have been opened and if there are more social functions I will consider at least wearing make up and wearing heels. One tottering step at a time.

MY FIRST TIME

No, shopping silly!
It was 10 October 2009. I had a really good day . It was 4:30 and I decided to go to Milton Keynes Centre for my first shopping trip as Gabby.

First of all I went to Tescos garage to test my resolve. It was funny, as I went to enter the garage shop, a grizzled man with a white beard opened the door wide open for me and with a broad grin on his face he beckoned me in with a sweeping gesture of his arm. Ha! I might have made his day as he obviously thought I was a classy woman all dressed in black with a large mustard coloured handbag.(Well the make up was still very good as I had my MAC make up session the previous day).

I just couldn't help smiling at him because of the thought " If he only knew!" It is a nice feeling ,I must admit , even if it was a grizzled old man who opened the door for me. In the shop I told the assistant the pump number in a very quiet voice and another customer at the counter said " Four" at the same time. She got confused and charged me for his bill. I said " No, pump fifteen"
" You said four!" the assistant said in a rude way. I wonder if she would have been that rude if I had been dressed as a guy. I couldn't be bothered to argue as I was in a great mood and they would all have been startled if I had raised my voice.

So I was Gabby all day long- at the mall I went to the MAC counter at Debenhams and Sophie, who did my make-up, recognised me in the queue. I was given a fee sample of the eye shadow I wanted and the other girl, Gemma recognised me as well.They were both very friendly to me.

I then went for a stroll in the mall. It wasn't very full but nobody twigged I was a tranny which was a huge boost to my confidence. Back I walked to Debenhams as most shops were closing. I tried on several jackets and held up dresses to me to see if they suited me and it was a much nicer shopping experience than shopping in drab, as nobody paid any attention to me.

At one point I put my handbag, scarf and bolero down on the floor so I could try several jackets and a shopper picked up my stuff and was about to hand it to the shop counter. I told her it was mine and smiled and she apologised. She didn't realise I was a tranny either! So next time I want to go shopping I will get dressed as Gabby.

My confidence was sky high because of the public make-up session, the photo shoot and my shopping experience. I even used the ladies loo in Debenhams. I thought it was safer than creating a scene by going like that into the Gents. Now I feel that, as long as I am careful and dress sensibly, I can go to most places as Gabby.

As I was all dressed up and still had my make up on so I went out again. I thought I may as well go to Pink Punters as I love it there and I would know people I could chat with.
If any tranny wants to go shopping but is scared, all I can say is the high you get far more than compensates for the fear before you venture to the shops. Do it!
xx

I didn't bargain for that.

Back in October I had another lovely time as Gabby shopping , only the the second time I went shopping as Gabby. I tried on several jackets at M & S, Debenhams and House of Fraser and boughta few things at Superdrug.

Several people spotted that I was a tranny and they all gave a wry smile which I detected and smiled back. Mostly I was totally accepted as a woman and even when I bargained for a holdall at the open market the two guys there didn't twig I was a guy! They were very polite and courteous. Actually it wasn't so much bargaining, I just said asked if they had the same size bag but cheaper and the owner said 'What if we say you can have it for £12 instead of £14 ?'and gave me a shy smile. Did I detect a gleam in his eye? Maybe, but more probably they had twigged me and were amused and playing along with it.

The young girl at Superdrug only realised I was a tranny when I spoke, then we had a brief chat.
Oh, I also tried on shoes at Evans and New Look.
The shops were quite busy. At Superdrug the guy in front of me dropped his credit card and he walked away quickly so I had to shout at him to a ttract his attention- obviously a man's voice but he was so pleased he hadn't lost his credit cards that he didn't seem to notice.

It was a real buzz again . I love being Gabby in public.
xx

MAC

Alex Kingsley http://www.tvdreams.co.uk/
agreed to undertake a photo shoot with me as the model! I was so excited by the idea I decided to have my make up done professionally. I couldn't get anyone to come to my house at short notice so I reluctantly agreed to go to Debenhams to have it done at the MAC counter.


Sophie did my make up and I was thrilled at the result. Sophie was totally cool about doing it for me and was very friendly and asked lots of questions about my alter ego and my life generally.

I chose a look from a recent Style magazine from The Sunday Times and she loved the fact that it was very different from the usual natural looks she normally undertakes.


I arrived at the MAC counter in drab and was very worried lest friends and neighbours spotted me, especially as my seat was right next to a huge shop window. I got a few surprised stares which quickly turned into gentle smiles which made me feel more at ease.
As Sophie got to work with the foundation I relaxed and started enjoying the experience.

I can totally recommend it. As soon as it was finished I walked around the store and felt on a real high. The shop assistants smiled at me so it was great fun.

CHRISTMAS MEAL AT THE BRIDGE INN, MILTON KEYNES
& BNO at PINK PUNTERS December 2009

THE TIME OF MY LIFE

OK. I have been away for a while, from this website that is. I have been getting out and about as Gabriela, having photoshoots , having my make up done by MAC at Debenhams and just three days ago I told people where I work that I am transgendered. I will cover these events in more detail in separate posts. I never thought I would have the guts to do all these things and I feel a lot happier for it. I have been having the time of my life.

I want to wish everyone a very happy Christmas and brilliant New Year. Take care, find out whom you really are and live your life as you want to, do not let others dictate how you should live.

Gabriela Julie Budd

xx

At the Races

One year old

I have been going out enfemme for a year! I have not encountered any nasty behaviour or prejudice. Just about everyone has been open-minded if not understanding. I feel confident enough to go out during the day en femme - shopping, meals, drinking in bars. Or maybe Julie Gabriela is tired of waiting and is now taking a more active part.

Fur, long.

I want to do it to experience a rush of adrenaline and enjoyment out of expressing my feminine side. Initially at least. Then I want to just be able to enjoy everyday things in female mode.

Whereas Julie Gabriela just wants to show off all her wardrobe in public.

Favourite Lippy but not cocky

I occiasionally go out wearing lipstick and carrying a handbag while dressed as a guy and realise that people are not that interested in oneself or are at least polite. I 'm not cocky enough to go out enfemme by myself and in any case its more fun to go out with others rather than be Billy-no-mates. But I would much rather someone came up to me and asked me why I do it than hear them whispering to others. I genuinely want to educate others about a little-known subject.

Point to point

My point? Well, like most things in life, one has to take risks to achieve things and its just not good enough saying " I will never pass" and just staying in the closet. One has to accept one's own personality and make the best of it as one only has one life. So dare to be different and you will attract others who want to be different too.

Maybe I will just pick a date and ask a few trannies and friends to join me. Actually I quite fancy going to a racecourse enfemme. Any punters?

http://www.firstfestivaltravel.com/ladiesday.htm#touritinerary

Julie Gabriela

XX

BEEN PUNTING AGAIN

I had a fabulous time at Pink Punters on Saturday 5th Sept. What a party mad crowd!
I chatted with Sue for ages, we had such a laugh together!
I also had a great time with Lyndsey, Jemima, Mark, Mick, Hazel, Richard, Si-Belle and a cast of hundreds, well, maybe another 20.

Well done to the guy dressed as a chicken (who came first in the chicken and egg race?) and I should mention all the lovely staff including the cloak attendants, bouncers ( they never move actually) and bar stewards who all do their work with a welcome smile.

I was amazed at the lady who fell down just as she walked passed me, spilt most of her drink down my leg, landed on her arse and still had her glass firmly in her hand when she got up with a smile.

Beer swilling s an occupational hazard there. Why hasn't someone designed a non- spill
glass for adults?

Anyway everyone was amazingly friendly, so I suppose you can't complain if he shared his drink.

We were having such a good time that we had to be kicked out.
I may go again.

Gabriela Julie
xx

A Handbag?!!

I lent my daughter a handbag this bank holiday weekend!
She took it gracefully and the only comment she made was " Wow! That's very 20s! It will go well with my outfit. Thanks dad"
I think that is acceptance. It shows the importance of being earnest.

***********************************************************************************


A Happy Medium

I had a great time out in male mode. Well, I was surrounded by gorgeous women in an enviroment not conducive for trannies, so why try to compete?

I love the ability to swop from femme attire to male and vice-versa . being a tranny does have some advantages

xx

Two weddings, one Big Night Out and one barbecue

Its a busy life being a tranny and a dad.

Last Friday , 14th August, I went to Big Night Out at Pink Punters and experienced the bar at the Campanile hotel for the first time. I really enjoyed it with all types of trannies and a few others crammed together with all their different dress styles.

I chatted with Faith, Sophie, Lyndsey, Rachel and another Rachel and danced with several groups of glamorous lesbians and trannies. AT PP it was quiet at first but as Sophie said, a bus must have arrived at about 12:00. Suddenly everyone was pole dancing and chatting and crowding the dance floors. I took quite a few pictures and surprise surprise managed to get photos of myself for once.

The wedding was the next day and I dragged myself ( no pun intended of course) out of bed and thankfully all I had to do was shower and find a clean shirt and suit. A big advantage for guys when they are in a hurry, even though I love spending hours on choosing outfits and getting ready as a broad.

It was a spectacular expensive wedding which cost £30,000 and everyone had a great time. There was one incident, when one guy wanted to bottle my son because he thought my son was chatting up his girlfriend which was a load of bollocks. My son can't help being even better looking than me. Luckily my son was cool about it and managed to calm the situation down.

The barbecue was the next as the last leg of the wedding. This was a very laid back sunny affair with the highlight being a gift of a rose from one of the tiny gorgeous bridesmaids. Well, OK it didn't have much of a stem attached but it was their own idea and they only had two roses to give. Thankfully they didn't offer me one of their home made cupcakes, especially the one with the blue food colouring.

No-one said anything about my shaved legs or the lingering smell of Angel perfume.

In between I was giving lots of lifts in my car to lots of wedding drunks and my son and friends.

The second wedding is next Saturday. One of my daughter's friends is getting married. So this marks the end of another chapter in parenthood, where dad's are supposed to take a back seat and their sons and daughters are proper grown ups with proper jobs. But for me life is too short so I will squeeze as much work and as much fun as I can for as long as I can, so I will probably go to trannydom (PP) again next Friday. As well as avoid any dodgy cupcakes on the Sunday.

xx

Liquorice

Saturday 8th August

I met several nice people at Pink Punters including Michelle, Terri and Sophie. We had several long chats and danced in between. I'm almost a regular there now and so I recognised quite a few other fellow ( no pun intended, of course) trannies.

Some have told me their intimate life details as if I were a life-long friend. That may be an honour but I 'm beginning to wonder if I am too good a listener, as I'm not sure I want to know everybody's personal sexual bravados. Then again, I do not wish to judge people and I accept that everyone is different. Like a bag of liquorice allsorts. It makes for fascinating listening as well!

The previous week I was also at PP and for once stayed at the hotel opposite. the staff there are friendly, polite, professional and efficient, the rooms are well equipped and clean and pleasant.

As I was staying overnight I allowed myself to partake of alcoholic beverages. It was an interesting experience and a bit of a learning curve as I've never drunk so much dressed en femme.

As a bloke , when I've had a lot to drink, I become more friendly, say some silly things, find my vision becoming blurred and eventually fall asleep. So the inner me is a gregarious, gentle person, which I'm thankful for.

As Gabriela, I found myself becoming, or at least acting as if I were, the life and soul of the party, getting trannies to get up and dance in a group and skipping about like a six year old girl in a playground. I don't know the mechanics of alcohol but wonder if I was already in a happy relaxed state and the alcohol just pushed me further down that road. Did the fact that I was in women's clothes have a bearing on it as well? It is such a long way from being the shy retiring young lad I used to be. I must still be on a learning curve about my own character. Maybe it's not as eye-popping as some of the truths I've learnt of others I've met at PP but fascinating for me.

Gabriela Julia Budd

xx

In two minds
Or: To know know know me is to love love love me.(Ha! We can't help whom we fall in love with can we?)

It's been over two months since I last blogged so this is just to let you know I'm still around and haven't disappeared into the ether.

I went to a party held by a work colleague two days ago where I wore make-up and sling backs. I did worry whether I should or not but my friend told me that life is too short to worry about what everybody else thinks about my clothes.

So tomorrow I'm going in to work expecting some very sneering comments, a lot of questions and some favourable comments. The good thing is that I won't have to pretend that am not interested in women's clothes anymore and I can relax about what I say. I know exactly who will be taking the piss most but as I will be laughing at myself with them I can't see that it will do any damage in the long run.

As I go out en femme more often now, I meet a lot of interesting and inquisitive people. I haven't come across any aggressive stances by anyone. The worst behaviour has been emitting stares, which I can understand. I'm beginning to see that we imagine the world to be full of bigoted monsters but I realise that most people are fairly tolerant and curious to know more. Shop assistants and bouncers seem to be very people savvy.

Anyway, I appreciate the blokey side of me much more now and am finally confident to be both masculine and feminine. I quite like the name associated with this: "two spirits"
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Two_spirits













Denver Two Spirits society
________________________________

I actually got a compliment from one of the guys at the party. He told me that it was great that age had made me confident enough not to care what the fuck anybody else thought of what I looked like.
Well: stubble , trousers, a lady's jacket, make-up and sling backs is a fine balancing act.
Er... that was a compliment wasn't it?

xx

Dress Sense


I decided three weeks was too long for me not to go out en femme so I went to Pink Punters on Saturday 2 May. It wasn't a tranny night and there were only about six of us there. Like The Dirty Dozen on a small budget, only we were quite clean, as far as I could see, without being over inquisitive and not into fights.


There were a number of people who hadn't seen trannies at close quarters before and I got a few nervous stares and a few startled comments like " Huh!! That's a man!!" I expect to be stared at occasionally and in fact quite enjoy challenging peoples preconceptions of acceptable behaviour and code of dress. It actually makes me smile when I hear such comments, especially if someone has been stood next to me for a while before they cotton on that I'm a tranny.


I was dressed quite conservatively really. I had gorgeous golden yellow silk trousers with stockings and a pair of black high heels, gold and black horizontal striped silk top with a big black flower pinned on to it. You've guessed it. I didn't take any photos of my outfit. Rats!






I took over five hours to get ready so there was little time to take a few photos. To complete my look I wore a simple black necklace and black fishnet fingerless gloves with a leather yellow snakeskin cuff and shiny brass cuff on my other arm. OK, it was showy but I didn't wear a slutty short skirt and revealing top. I won't say that I don't like that sort of look because it depends on one's mood but for that night I went for cool and sassy but elegant. OK, maybe it was more like fool, sissy and elephant but I tried.


Actually wearing women's trousers makes me appreciate how badly I dress as a guy some of the time. Some of my trousers don't fit me and some of the jeans I wear are just sloppy. A lot of my shirts are way too big since I lost some weight over the last two years. Being a tranny makes you much more aware of your figure and most trannies are slim and look after their bodies more than the average guy. This is a sexist "thing". Most women like to look good and presentable but most guys will be happy to carry a beer belly with them all day long and will only be aware of body odour when dogs sniff them and scamper away.


OK I'm trying to be serious here. Trying to get to the bottom of why I like to present myself as female. I have to talk in generalisms so you will forgive me for doing so. Or you can just go.

OK, you still here? Good. I like being smartly dressed, well presented and clean. I'm a peacock and like to be noticed as being well dressed. Unfortunately I find men's clothes tend to be boring in colours, hues, textures and details. They are often designed to attract women by conveying a reliable, sensible unaffected, powerful figure: no frills, silliness or daintiness. Fair enough.


But if your character, or alter ego, is that of someone who likes to be noticed, enjoys detailing and textures and accessories, then men's clothes tend to disappoint unless it is something on the lines of uniforms , leathers or some smart suits. I hate wearing a smart suit and then being forced to make my pockets bulge (stop it!) with mobile phones, wallets, keys hankies, maps, coins, bus tickets and bits of fluff. Then, when I change my clothes I have to remember to move all my assorted stuff into my next outfit. I'd rather carry my stuff in a bag and keep my clothes more streamlined. So I should carry a handbag at all times. unfortunately that is enough to get get you beaten up in quite a lot of areas. So I choose to carry a messenger bag quite a lot of the time, which is fine but hardly up in the design stakes. I would like to carry a hand bag without being stared at or being ridiculed. OK I'll settle for being stared at.

Society is gullible anyway. If the public had seen today's hairstyles 15 years ago, they would have laughed uncontrollably at the spiky hair of today's younger generation. It wasn't so long ago that any guy wearing 70's gear would be laughed at.



I guess I like the glamour of women's clothes. Most women like to be the centre of attention so a guy who accompanies her invariably has to dress down to show off his woman.


Then again, I know that it is not just clothes. I have an abundance of traditionally feminine qualities which makes it imperative for me to be treated as a woman at least part of the time. It's fine being a guy some of the time but it can get boring and very restrictive. Then again why should feminine qualities just be appendaged to women? There are many women who have many masculine qualities. They often express these qualities in their clothes.


It is women who have taken to wearing all sorts of clothing, including men's clothing throughout the ages. " Society" does not accept that men should adopt women's styles throughout the ages. Why is this? What is "society"?

"Society" is really the majority of people. A majority may be, say, between 60% and 80%. For mathematicians , yes I am aware That 51% would be a majority but who's counting? Apart from you anoraks? Just go away before you become and endangered minority. As I was saying, or about to say,this majority would make up a general opinion. Why should a majority dictate the apparel of everyone? Aside from anoraks of course.

We should all dress according to how we wish to. Of course if we do so, we open ourselves to ridicule from others. What is not acceptable is verbal or physical abuse from others. This is what it boils down to: the ignorance and narrow-mindedness of a small section of society. Or maybe I am being naive. Maybe it is not narrow-mindedness. Maybe it is more the threat to their own insecurities or even the attitude of "Let's get aggressive, we know it's wrong but it's a laugh."


I've worked it out that I can just about wear what I want in some parts of Central London and maybe attract stares and comments, which I can accept, but I would be unlikely to be beaten up for it. In my home village I just don't want to be the constant subject of whispers and rumours. You would only have to wear 1970's gear here to be beaten up. The clothes would be too modern for the yokels to cope with.


I've noticed people staring at me here just for sipping a bottle of Bud. in a pub, instead of drinking a pint of beer. And that was before I decided to use a straw.


Clothes maketh man. But, without getting beaten up about it, for a tranny, make up and accessories complete the look which makes dress sense.

Big Night Out





I went to Big Night out at Pink Punters on Friday 10th April. It was great to see so many tgirls there. the place was packed. I was especially delighted to see Alex Kingsley and Vanessa Pride.

http://www.tvdreams.co.uk/

ALEX AND I ( It was nearly 4:00 a.m. and Alex looks as fresh as a daisy and I look like a trampled daisy)

They were the first trannies I ever met and were really kind and helpful in reassuring me and helping me realise I wasn't the only tranny in the village.

I'm usually found on the dance floor but this time I had quite a few chats and felt more at home than ever before. I chatted with Faith and Victoria and some really nice Tgirls I hadn't met before. Sorry I'm crap at names but I did take their photos:

ALEX AND VICTORIA

I tried to meet up with Louisa. She was going out for the first time enfemme but work commitments stopped her. I had a fabulous time and everyone was so friendly it was unbelievable.

There were a couple of hiccups. On the way to PP, I was running out of petrol and garages (most were closed) so I risked going 15 miles and managed to get to a garage that was still open, Phew!

One of my friends had visions of me in party frock and high heels walking along the main carriage way with a petrol can and being helped by a kindly man, stopping to rescue his damsel in distress. Then finding out it was a distressed dame.

I braved it out of the car, got my fuel and stupidly tried to walk into the garage which had its doors locked. I did panic momentarily as I though they had just closed but then realised the service window was open. there were a few people about but I didn't get any stares or comments so that was a bit of a boost for my ego.

Then, on the way back from PP at about 5:00 am I was stopped by a police car. When I wound my window down I could just read the policeman's face : " OMG! What have I got here?"

I got out of the car and was really worried. You see I had changed into my brown driving boots and they totally clashed with my silk patterned frock. I must get some nice driving shoes.

I told the PC I had only one drink. " Well you will be alright then if you've only had one pint"

Bloody cheek I thought! I'm a layyyydyyy! So I said " No it was a Bacardi breezer" he seemed unimpressed. To be fair he didn't call me Sir or Madam but was very gender neutral.

Strange thing was, earlier at PP I had been discussing with Victoria if we carried our driving licences when we are frocked up and we agreed that we wouldn't.

I was breathalysed. The PC sighed with relief when I registered zero. He couldn't get away fast enough. To tell all his mates back at the station.

If these two incidents had happened to me just six months ago I would have freaked out. Now that I am more comfortable in my interchangeable genders/ combined genders, I was totally relaxed about it and found them both amusing. I was actually feeling sorry for the copper having to deal with me.

OK I cannot finish this post without a pun. So if I learnt anything about the events of that day it must be that you must carry a petrol can with you, you must not drink and drive, you must take nice driving shoes and you must fill up your tank at least a few hours before you set off. In fact...

Keep a can in your boot, don't boot up if you can, only drink from a can or you may end up in the can or in boot camp.

Sally Ann, Lucy & Petra ( Hope I got your names right girls!)

xx

Mad as in healthy


I just had a thought. No please, sit down, stop clapping.

Everyone on this planet is mad.

There is absolutely no reason for living unless you are free to do what the hell you want.

If you can't do what you want because others won't allow it, you are a rebel, a troublemaker.


We all have different levels of madness. But madness is measured by standards imposed by society- which wants to control what individually driven people -"rebels " want to do.


If the rebels are mad because they disrespect society and may disrupt it and do not conform, how mad are the ones in control? They have not only given up their birthrights to freedom but wish to restrict the freedoms of others.


Freedom fighters want to blow up people for er... freedom.

Law and order people want to lock up anyone who is a rebel.

Rebels want to do what the fuck they like because they care only for themselves.

law & order people make laws to keep order, so rebels and non-conformists will be locked up if they er.. do not conform.


The law makers will lock up anybody who does not agree to uphold the law.

Perhaps the only sane people are those who are in institutions being cared for and fed everyday while they just do what the fuck they like.


In my case I'm a tranny, which some may say is non-conformist and some may say is anarchic and some may say I'm nuts. Really I am just an individual who wants to comply with, but does not want to be part of , the law enforcement.



To sum up:


Everyone is mad.
Some are madder than others.

Those that are actually mad and certified as mad are not actually mad but doing what the fuck they want.

Those that think that everyone should act in the same way , i. e. the "normal" way, are totally nuts.

The world is mad.

I'm just a little mad ,which is good. If we weren't a little mad we would go mad.

So thank God we are all mad .

Why the fuck are we on this planet. No glib answers please.( To promote the species? Why? To make sure it doesn't end. Why? What's so special about it? Other, better, species will evolve. we are mad. We are just keeping the current species going until the next lot come along).

We should just do what the fuck we want. Die because of stupidity or idiocy if necessary. We all live for kicks. Some for small kicks some for full force boot in the groin.

We are junkies in need of our own particular fix. The fix is not a sign of madness. It is healthy. It is only a fix.