Yes.
OK you can all go home now.
But speaking personally , instead of on behalf of the ventriloquist, I must admit I am a narcissist even though I prefer roses. Does one have to love oneself to be a Tgirl?
I love looking in the mirror even when I am in drab. So do I fancy myself?
Not really. I just can't help appreciating how good I look as a man.
As a woman I would make Felicity Hoffman look absolutely stunning and this girl:
very feminine. Yet I persist in wanting to act and look like a woman.
I would have been happier to have been born a woman. As it is I am (in my own opinion) an attractive fellow. And I'm always right. So I'm beginning to appreciate that I wasn't born an ugly bloke . Then I wonder, how would I feel if I had been born an ugly woman?
I guess the answer is I would make every effort to enhance any of my looks by hook or by crook, accept that looks are not everything and enjoy being a woman.
As a man who looks very masculine it doesn't make sense that I want to dress as and do all the things women like to do. But I do. You don't make a conscious decision: " I want to be a transvestite" and you would fight against it initially as it does not seem right. I just have this burning desire which funnily enough seems my more natural self. I sometimes think it is a curse. It is only when I contact other trannies that I feel its O.K. and that I should enjoy it. Having to hide it most of the time makes it worse but that's my choice and I have reasons for it.
I just wish we weren't under such horrific pressure to conform by the bigots of society. I feel a real fraud in not letting the female in me out more often. The media like to treat transgendered people as objects of derision or even as a danger to society.
The more I read and hear about it,it seems that the population in general, in the U.K. at least is starting to become more understanding of transgendered people.
Roll on the day when a man can wear a dress or skirt without being treated as asomething to be laughed at or even a sexual pervert.
Getting back to my unifying theme, I think all trannies are narcissists. Then again most women are narcissist. So its OK . I shouldn't feel guilty. We are all different.
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3 comments:
Hi Julie, it's weird - but that's human diversity for you. I think everyone is different, maybe there isn't any pattern. I can only tell you about my own situation.
I'm someone with strong feminine leanings. But I was brought up, just after the war, in a household where for a long time I was the only child and were I was expected to be an instant warrior - tough, aggressive, self-contained, masterful. At the same time any hint of softness or femininity was suppressed - sometimes quite brutally.
The result was I felt deeply inadequate that I couldn't meet parental expectations. I also felt guilty and ashamed at liking things that girls liked.
While I grew up physically, my emotional development was stunted.
My adult mind (which was perhaps three-quarters female) had been suppressed and I was left with only an immature male part of my brain with which to relate to the world. So I never grew into a proper adult, was always dysfunctional. Always under-achieved.
It has taken me 50 years or so to work out the problem. Now I need to bring out my female side in order to reintegrate the split male and female sides of my personality. As my adult seems to lie in the female side I need to become female, mentally, to move forward. This I am on the way to doing, little by little.
I am not so concerned about becoming physically female. But that is part of the package. Of course I would like to have a beautiful female body - but I would far rather liberate my mind - be fully a woman in my head (or really just be 'me' in my head) - and then I can choose how to present myself physically to the world - man, woman or the sort of eccentric intersexed state that I spend most of my time in but which is just about recognisably male.
As for now I feel I am living through new teenage years - discovering myself in a way that I should have been doing back in the sixties. Who am I etc? It is rather fun.
But there is conflict also. My immature male self with all those feelings of inadequacy and guilt is scared about handing over the reins to this fledgling female identity. It must be like being schizophrenic. I am pulled in different directions at once.
But in closing, Julie, I really think you look good in your photograph. I have found that I look best when dressed in semi-male garb - eg a blazer, without too much obvious feminity.
Hope this helps,
Fenniexx
Guess we agree on that one, women enjoy dressing up, looking good and why shouldn't we? If you enjoy it, do it. That's what I say.
Thanks for the comments girls.
Er.. I hate to disappoint you but that's not actually me . That's what I would like to look like.
So far I've got the tan right.
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