THE TIME OF MY LIFE

OK. I have been away for a while, from this website that is. I have been getting out and about as Gabriela, having photoshoots , having my make up done by MAC at Debenhams and just three days ago I told people where I work that I am transgendered. I will cover these events in more detail in separate posts. I never thought I would have the guts to do all these things and I feel a lot happier for it. I have been having the time of my life.

I want to wish everyone a very happy Christmas and brilliant New Year. Take care, find out whom you really are and live your life as you want to, do not let others dictate how you should live.

Gabriela Julie Budd

xx

At the Races

One year old

I have been going out enfemme for a year! I have not encountered any nasty behaviour or prejudice. Just about everyone has been open-minded if not understanding. I feel confident enough to go out during the day en femme - shopping, meals, drinking in bars. Or maybe Julie Gabriela is tired of waiting and is now taking a more active part.

Fur, long.

I want to do it to experience a rush of adrenaline and enjoyment out of expressing my feminine side. Initially at least. Then I want to just be able to enjoy everyday things in female mode.

Whereas Julie Gabriela just wants to show off all her wardrobe in public.

Favourite Lippy but not cocky

I occiasionally go out wearing lipstick and carrying a handbag while dressed as a guy and realise that people are not that interested in oneself or are at least polite. I 'm not cocky enough to go out enfemme by myself and in any case its more fun to go out with others rather than be Billy-no-mates. But I would much rather someone came up to me and asked me why I do it than hear them whispering to others. I genuinely want to educate others about a little-known subject.

Point to point

My point? Well, like most things in life, one has to take risks to achieve things and its just not good enough saying " I will never pass" and just staying in the closet. One has to accept one's own personality and make the best of it as one only has one life. So dare to be different and you will attract others who want to be different too.

Maybe I will just pick a date and ask a few trannies and friends to join me. Actually I quite fancy going to a racecourse enfemme. Any punters?

http://www.firstfestivaltravel.com/ladiesday.htm#touritinerary

Julie Gabriela

XX

BEEN PUNTING AGAIN

I had a fabulous time at Pink Punters on Saturday 5th Sept. What a party mad crowd!
I chatted with Sue for ages, we had such a laugh together!
I also had a great time with Lyndsey, Jemima, Mark, Mick, Hazel, Richard, Si-Belle and a cast of hundreds, well, maybe another 20.

Well done to the guy dressed as a chicken (who came first in the chicken and egg race?) and I should mention all the lovely staff including the cloak attendants, bouncers ( they never move actually) and bar stewards who all do their work with a welcome smile.

I was amazed at the lady who fell down just as she walked passed me, spilt most of her drink down my leg, landed on her arse and still had her glass firmly in her hand when she got up with a smile.

Beer swilling s an occupational hazard there. Why hasn't someone designed a non- spill
glass for adults?

Anyway everyone was amazingly friendly, so I suppose you can't complain if he shared his drink.

We were having such a good time that we had to be kicked out.
I may go again.

Gabriela Julie
xx

A Handbag?!!

I lent my daughter a handbag this bank holiday weekend!
She took it gracefully and the only comment she made was " Wow! That's very 20s! It will go well with my outfit. Thanks dad"
I think that is acceptance. It shows the importance of being earnest.

***********************************************************************************


A Happy Medium

I had a great time out in male mode. Well, I was surrounded by gorgeous women in an enviroment not conducive for trannies, so why try to compete?

I love the ability to swop from femme attire to male and vice-versa . being a tranny does have some advantages

xx

Two weddings, one Big Night Out and one barbecue

Its a busy life being a tranny and a dad.

Last Friday , 14th August, I went to Big Night Out at Pink Punters and experienced the bar at the Campanile hotel for the first time. I really enjoyed it with all types of trannies and a few others crammed together with all their different dress styles.

I chatted with Faith, Sophie, Lyndsey, Rachel and another Rachel and danced with several groups of glamorous lesbians and trannies. AT PP it was quiet at first but as Sophie said, a bus must have arrived at about 12:00. Suddenly everyone was pole dancing and chatting and crowding the dance floors. I took quite a few pictures and surprise surprise managed to get photos of myself for once.

The wedding was the next day and I dragged myself ( no pun intended of course) out of bed and thankfully all I had to do was shower and find a clean shirt and suit. A big advantage for guys when they are in a hurry, even though I love spending hours on choosing outfits and getting ready as a broad.

It was a spectacular expensive wedding which cost £30,000 and everyone had a great time. There was one incident, when one guy wanted to bottle my son because he thought my son was chatting up his girlfriend which was a load of bollocks. My son can't help being even better looking than me. Luckily my son was cool about it and managed to calm the situation down.

The barbecue was the next as the last leg of the wedding. This was a very laid back sunny affair with the highlight being a gift of a rose from one of the tiny gorgeous bridesmaids. Well, OK it didn't have much of a stem attached but it was their own idea and they only had two roses to give. Thankfully they didn't offer me one of their home made cupcakes, especially the one with the blue food colouring.

No-one said anything about my shaved legs or the lingering smell of Angel perfume.

In between I was giving lots of lifts in my car to lots of wedding drunks and my son and friends.

The second wedding is next Saturday. One of my daughter's friends is getting married. So this marks the end of another chapter in parenthood, where dad's are supposed to take a back seat and their sons and daughters are proper grown ups with proper jobs. But for me life is too short so I will squeeze as much work and as much fun as I can for as long as I can, so I will probably go to trannydom (PP) again next Friday. As well as avoid any dodgy cupcakes on the Sunday.

xx

Liquorice

Saturday 8th August

I met several nice people at Pink Punters including Michelle, Terri and Sophie. We had several long chats and danced in between. I'm almost a regular there now and so I recognised quite a few other fellow ( no pun intended, of course) trannies.

Some have told me their intimate life details as if I were a life-long friend. That may be an honour but I 'm beginning to wonder if I am too good a listener, as I'm not sure I want to know everybody's personal sexual bravados. Then again, I do not wish to judge people and I accept that everyone is different. Like a bag of liquorice allsorts. It makes for fascinating listening as well!

The previous week I was also at PP and for once stayed at the hotel opposite. the staff there are friendly, polite, professional and efficient, the rooms are well equipped and clean and pleasant.

As I was staying overnight I allowed myself to partake of alcoholic beverages. It was an interesting experience and a bit of a learning curve as I've never drunk so much dressed en femme.

As a bloke , when I've had a lot to drink, I become more friendly, say some silly things, find my vision becoming blurred and eventually fall asleep. So the inner me is a gregarious, gentle person, which I'm thankful for.

As Gabriela, I found myself becoming, or at least acting as if I were, the life and soul of the party, getting trannies to get up and dance in a group and skipping about like a six year old girl in a playground. I don't know the mechanics of alcohol but wonder if I was already in a happy relaxed state and the alcohol just pushed me further down that road. Did the fact that I was in women's clothes have a bearing on it as well? It is such a long way from being the shy retiring young lad I used to be. I must still be on a learning curve about my own character. Maybe it's not as eye-popping as some of the truths I've learnt of others I've met at PP but fascinating for me.

Gabriela Julia Budd

xx

In two minds
Or: To know know know me is to love love love me.(Ha! We can't help whom we fall in love with can we?)

It's been over two months since I last blogged so this is just to let you know I'm still around and haven't disappeared into the ether.

I went to a party held by a work colleague two days ago where I wore make-up and sling backs. I did worry whether I should or not but my friend told me that life is too short to worry about what everybody else thinks about my clothes.

So tomorrow I'm going in to work expecting some very sneering comments, a lot of questions and some favourable comments. The good thing is that I won't have to pretend that am not interested in women's clothes anymore and I can relax about what I say. I know exactly who will be taking the piss most but as I will be laughing at myself with them I can't see that it will do any damage in the long run.

As I go out en femme more often now, I meet a lot of interesting and inquisitive people. I haven't come across any aggressive stances by anyone. The worst behaviour has been emitting stares, which I can understand. I'm beginning to see that we imagine the world to be full of bigoted monsters but I realise that most people are fairly tolerant and curious to know more. Shop assistants and bouncers seem to be very people savvy.

Anyway, I appreciate the blokey side of me much more now and am finally confident to be both masculine and feminine. I quite like the name associated with this: "two spirits"
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Two_spirits













Denver Two Spirits society
________________________________

I actually got a compliment from one of the guys at the party. He told me that it was great that age had made me confident enough not to care what the fuck anybody else thought of what I looked like.
Well: stubble , trousers, a lady's jacket, make-up and sling backs is a fine balancing act.
Er... that was a compliment wasn't it?

xx

Dress Sense


I decided three weeks was too long for me not to go out en femme so I went to Pink Punters on Saturday 2 May. It wasn't a tranny night and there were only about six of us there. Like The Dirty Dozen on a small budget, only we were quite clean, as far as I could see, without being over inquisitive and not into fights.


There were a number of people who hadn't seen trannies at close quarters before and I got a few nervous stares and a few startled comments like " Huh!! That's a man!!" I expect to be stared at occasionally and in fact quite enjoy challenging peoples preconceptions of acceptable behaviour and code of dress. It actually makes me smile when I hear such comments, especially if someone has been stood next to me for a while before they cotton on that I'm a tranny.


I was dressed quite conservatively really. I had gorgeous golden yellow silk trousers with stockings and a pair of black high heels, gold and black horizontal striped silk top with a big black flower pinned on to it. You've guessed it. I didn't take any photos of my outfit. Rats!






I took over five hours to get ready so there was little time to take a few photos. To complete my look I wore a simple black necklace and black fishnet fingerless gloves with a leather yellow snakeskin cuff and shiny brass cuff on my other arm. OK, it was showy but I didn't wear a slutty short skirt and revealing top. I won't say that I don't like that sort of look because it depends on one's mood but for that night I went for cool and sassy but elegant. OK, maybe it was more like fool, sissy and elephant but I tried.


Actually wearing women's trousers makes me appreciate how badly I dress as a guy some of the time. Some of my trousers don't fit me and some of the jeans I wear are just sloppy. A lot of my shirts are way too big since I lost some weight over the last two years. Being a tranny makes you much more aware of your figure and most trannies are slim and look after their bodies more than the average guy. This is a sexist "thing". Most women like to look good and presentable but most guys will be happy to carry a beer belly with them all day long and will only be aware of body odour when dogs sniff them and scamper away.


OK I'm trying to be serious here. Trying to get to the bottom of why I like to present myself as female. I have to talk in generalisms so you will forgive me for doing so. Or you can just go.

OK, you still here? Good. I like being smartly dressed, well presented and clean. I'm a peacock and like to be noticed as being well dressed. Unfortunately I find men's clothes tend to be boring in colours, hues, textures and details. They are often designed to attract women by conveying a reliable, sensible unaffected, powerful figure: no frills, silliness or daintiness. Fair enough.


But if your character, or alter ego, is that of someone who likes to be noticed, enjoys detailing and textures and accessories, then men's clothes tend to disappoint unless it is something on the lines of uniforms , leathers or some smart suits. I hate wearing a smart suit and then being forced to make my pockets bulge (stop it!) with mobile phones, wallets, keys hankies, maps, coins, bus tickets and bits of fluff. Then, when I change my clothes I have to remember to move all my assorted stuff into my next outfit. I'd rather carry my stuff in a bag and keep my clothes more streamlined. So I should carry a handbag at all times. unfortunately that is enough to get get you beaten up in quite a lot of areas. So I choose to carry a messenger bag quite a lot of the time, which is fine but hardly up in the design stakes. I would like to carry a hand bag without being stared at or being ridiculed. OK I'll settle for being stared at.

Society is gullible anyway. If the public had seen today's hairstyles 15 years ago, they would have laughed uncontrollably at the spiky hair of today's younger generation. It wasn't so long ago that any guy wearing 70's gear would be laughed at.



I guess I like the glamour of women's clothes. Most women like to be the centre of attention so a guy who accompanies her invariably has to dress down to show off his woman.


Then again, I know that it is not just clothes. I have an abundance of traditionally feminine qualities which makes it imperative for me to be treated as a woman at least part of the time. It's fine being a guy some of the time but it can get boring and very restrictive. Then again why should feminine qualities just be appendaged to women? There are many women who have many masculine qualities. They often express these qualities in their clothes.


It is women who have taken to wearing all sorts of clothing, including men's clothing throughout the ages. " Society" does not accept that men should adopt women's styles throughout the ages. Why is this? What is "society"?

"Society" is really the majority of people. A majority may be, say, between 60% and 80%. For mathematicians , yes I am aware That 51% would be a majority but who's counting? Apart from you anoraks? Just go away before you become and endangered minority. As I was saying, or about to say,this majority would make up a general opinion. Why should a majority dictate the apparel of everyone? Aside from anoraks of course.

We should all dress according to how we wish to. Of course if we do so, we open ourselves to ridicule from others. What is not acceptable is verbal or physical abuse from others. This is what it boils down to: the ignorance and narrow-mindedness of a small section of society. Or maybe I am being naive. Maybe it is not narrow-mindedness. Maybe it is more the threat to their own insecurities or even the attitude of "Let's get aggressive, we know it's wrong but it's a laugh."


I've worked it out that I can just about wear what I want in some parts of Central London and maybe attract stares and comments, which I can accept, but I would be unlikely to be beaten up for it. In my home village I just don't want to be the constant subject of whispers and rumours. You would only have to wear 1970's gear here to be beaten up. The clothes would be too modern for the yokels to cope with.


I've noticed people staring at me here just for sipping a bottle of Bud. in a pub, instead of drinking a pint of beer. And that was before I decided to use a straw.


Clothes maketh man. But, without getting beaten up about it, for a tranny, make up and accessories complete the look which makes dress sense.

Big Night Out





I went to Big Night out at Pink Punters on Friday 10th April. It was great to see so many tgirls there. the place was packed. I was especially delighted to see Alex Kingsley and Vanessa Pride.

http://www.tvdreams.co.uk/

ALEX AND I ( It was nearly 4:00 a.m. and Alex looks as fresh as a daisy and I look like a trampled daisy)

They were the first trannies I ever met and were really kind and helpful in reassuring me and helping me realise I wasn't the only tranny in the village.

I'm usually found on the dance floor but this time I had quite a few chats and felt more at home than ever before. I chatted with Faith and Victoria and some really nice Tgirls I hadn't met before. Sorry I'm crap at names but I did take their photos:

ALEX AND VICTORIA

I tried to meet up with Louisa. She was going out for the first time enfemme but work commitments stopped her. I had a fabulous time and everyone was so friendly it was unbelievable.

There were a couple of hiccups. On the way to PP, I was running out of petrol and garages (most were closed) so I risked going 15 miles and managed to get to a garage that was still open, Phew!

One of my friends had visions of me in party frock and high heels walking along the main carriage way with a petrol can and being helped by a kindly man, stopping to rescue his damsel in distress. Then finding out it was a distressed dame.

I braved it out of the car, got my fuel and stupidly tried to walk into the garage which had its doors locked. I did panic momentarily as I though they had just closed but then realised the service window was open. there were a few people about but I didn't get any stares or comments so that was a bit of a boost for my ego.

Then, on the way back from PP at about 5:00 am I was stopped by a police car. When I wound my window down I could just read the policeman's face : " OMG! What have I got here?"

I got out of the car and was really worried. You see I had changed into my brown driving boots and they totally clashed with my silk patterned frock. I must get some nice driving shoes.

I told the PC I had only one drink. " Well you will be alright then if you've only had one pint"

Bloody cheek I thought! I'm a layyyydyyy! So I said " No it was a Bacardi breezer" he seemed unimpressed. To be fair he didn't call me Sir or Madam but was very gender neutral.

Strange thing was, earlier at PP I had been discussing with Victoria if we carried our driving licences when we are frocked up and we agreed that we wouldn't.

I was breathalysed. The PC sighed with relief when I registered zero. He couldn't get away fast enough. To tell all his mates back at the station.

If these two incidents had happened to me just six months ago I would have freaked out. Now that I am more comfortable in my interchangeable genders/ combined genders, I was totally relaxed about it and found them both amusing. I was actually feeling sorry for the copper having to deal with me.

OK I cannot finish this post without a pun. So if I learnt anything about the events of that day it must be that you must carry a petrol can with you, you must not drink and drive, you must take nice driving shoes and you must fill up your tank at least a few hours before you set off. In fact...

Keep a can in your boot, don't boot up if you can, only drink from a can or you may end up in the can or in boot camp.

Sally Ann, Lucy & Petra ( Hope I got your names right girls!)

xx

Mad as in healthy


I just had a thought. No please, sit down, stop clapping.

Everyone on this planet is mad.

There is absolutely no reason for living unless you are free to do what the hell you want.

If you can't do what you want because others won't allow it, you are a rebel, a troublemaker.


We all have different levels of madness. But madness is measured by standards imposed by society- which wants to control what individually driven people -"rebels " want to do.


If the rebels are mad because they disrespect society and may disrupt it and do not conform, how mad are the ones in control? They have not only given up their birthrights to freedom but wish to restrict the freedoms of others.


Freedom fighters want to blow up people for er... freedom.

Law and order people want to lock up anyone who is a rebel.

Rebels want to do what the fuck they like because they care only for themselves.

law & order people make laws to keep order, so rebels and non-conformists will be locked up if they er.. do not conform.


The law makers will lock up anybody who does not agree to uphold the law.

Perhaps the only sane people are those who are in institutions being cared for and fed everyday while they just do what the fuck they like.


In my case I'm a tranny, which some may say is non-conformist and some may say is anarchic and some may say I'm nuts. Really I am just an individual who wants to comply with, but does not want to be part of , the law enforcement.



To sum up:


Everyone is mad.
Some are madder than others.

Those that are actually mad and certified as mad are not actually mad but doing what the fuck they want.

Those that think that everyone should act in the same way , i. e. the "normal" way, are totally nuts.

The world is mad.

I'm just a little mad ,which is good. If we weren't a little mad we would go mad.

So thank God we are all mad .

Why the fuck are we on this planet. No glib answers please.( To promote the species? Why? To make sure it doesn't end. Why? What's so special about it? Other, better, species will evolve. we are mad. We are just keeping the current species going until the next lot come along).

We should just do what the fuck we want. Die because of stupidity or idiocy if necessary. We all live for kicks. Some for small kicks some for full force boot in the groin.

We are junkies in need of our own particular fix. The fix is not a sign of madness. It is healthy. It is only a fix.

National Non-blogging Day.

You know when you read about writers' block? You know, when writers sit in front of a typewriter (things we used to use before you started school - ask your grandad) and they can't think of anything to write and sit there all day without typing a a sentence.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Typewriter

Well, it doesn't happen to blog writers does it? How many times have I read :

" Well I can't think of anything to say. I mean this must sound like gibberish and just a confused ramble of thoughts. I'm not really awake so this may not make sense...."

Yes it does sound like gibberish! Well, fuc%ing stop writing then! DO bloody wake up before you write anything! Why go on for another two pages of rambling crap just because the keyboard is in front of you? Make yourself a fu&$ing cup of coffee! Shut the f%$k up!

OK I'm glad I've got that one off my chest , as the actress said to the bishop. I don't like to moan as life is too short. Too fu%^king short to have to read yet another rambling blog! OK I'm done . Sorry. Just shut the f%$k up OK?

As I was saying. what was I saying? Oh yeah, life's too short. But not short enough for these bastards who waste our precious short lives reading their fu%*ing blogs. O.K. I 'm done.
Moan over.

I mean, if I wanted to read gibberish, I could easily find gibberish in lots of publications written by someone who thought he knew what he was talking about. I don't have to read fu&%$ing blogs of no note. Finished. That's me done. I 've said my piece.No more moans. Right, lets move on to what I wanted to talk about.

Not the fuc&%ng crap bullshit blogs of " Confused Rambler" who starts typing before he has actually woken up. I mean " I haven't properly woken up but..." Well, go back to fu%$ing sleep you moron. I'm sorry. That's all I wanted to say about the subject. I think I've made myself clear.Well why don't they clear their minds before touching the bloody keyboard? OK. Moan over.

Oh yeah. I had this thought. There are days or weeks in the year allocated to things like " No smoking week" etc. How about a National Day for Not moaning? Wouldn't that be wonderful? When everyone agreed that no-one would moan for 24 hours for that day?

Or even better- a National Non -blogging Day for bloggers who have nothing whatsoever to say.
Everyone would stop blogging that day unless they had something really important or clever or really funny to say, or had a really nice piece of graphic work to show everyone.
I mean, if there was such a day, at least I wouldn't have to read a fu%&ing " this must sound like gibberish " bloody blog! Then perhaps we might not need a fu%*ing National Non- moaning Day.

The world is waking up! About fu%&ing time!

This link is about a law just passed in California which will make prisons a lot safer for Lesbian/Gay/ Bisexual and Transgendered people.

This is great news. Now, why has it taken so long for any such action?

http://www.commondreams.org/newswire/2009/03/31-17

Maybe because there have been too many LGBT people beaten up ar even killed. Maybe it is because legislation takes a long time. Maybe the lobby groups have been agitating for this for a long time. I didn't do anything to help this come about so I don't have anything to complain about.

Thank you to all the hard working people out there who took the pain, effort , time , money and risk to get this done. I've been too frightened of letting people know I'm transgendered let alone push for legal rights.

The least I can do is start to talk to people whenever the subject comes up and educate them about being transgendered.

I've made start. I recently told my kids . Tricky, but I felt it was the right time to do it.
Now a number of people who know me well, know about me being a tranny. So now I don't have to be paranoid about other people finding out. Maybe my life will be all the better for it.

OK. I could get beaten up if I'm not careful. But then I'd make sure the heavy arm of the law would come crushing down on them like a ton of bricks. They could end up in prison. Where they just might wish they were transgendered and a similar law was in place so that they could get away from physical and verbal attacks (or worse).

Then they too would appreciate that the law is changing and the world is waking up.
xx

Gabriela getting ready for Pink Punters, 21/3/2009 ( Yes, yet again- I like it! Shut up!)

I have signed a contract with Vague. They said I have great potential as a fashion icon.

They were so impressed with me that an initial fee of £82,000 was agreed. They are very happy to have me on board.

I make the first payment next week.

Gabriela Julie - not just an empty headed tranny, but much more.

View from a bridge- too far?



I have crossed a bridge. I split up with my partner a few months ago and am now in a different place. It is never easy when you make a major change in your life as there is so much uncertainty and ripples spread far and wide.


With a little bit of distance I can now see the whole picture with less detail but with a better idea how things were. I know I have crossed the bridge and have made a few changes which reflect my character and needs. Yet you still need to look from the bridge to survey the other side and reflect on it. Then I realise that the other side of the bridge is still familiar and hasn't changed. I have moved on and I have changed.



It is said that people change in seven year cycles and that would fit in with what has happened to me. But I'm still not going to tell you my real age. Mind you, now you know it is a multiple of 7. Damn!



What are these changes? Are you really interested? Nah! Didn't think so. Anyway they are private. That's why I'm posting this on a website for everyone to read.



So,to ensure that this post isn't a complete waste of space and to finish on a human interest topic, I will tell you that my ex has bought a new puppy ( well I suppose they are all pretty newish). Yeah, puppy love and all those puns. Sorry, I'm not in the mood for puns and this post is not a time for cheap jokes. Just time to look back and admire the view before I cross the next bridge.

xx

Am I getting a bit predictable here?
Big Night Out :Yet another night at Pink Punters

The place was packed with trannies. perhaps there should be a proper group name , you know like a pack of wolves. Maybe a tranche of trannies or a frock of trannies.

Upstairs it was particularly full. There were, of course a number of gays and lesbians but, as far as I could tell, few non-LGBT types.

The clothes worn by the trannies were not risque like the previous Friday. There were a lot of glamorous gurls there and some of the outfits were superb. In fact I didn't see any badly dressed gurls there. There were quite a few convincing ones and quite a few over 6 ft tall. One was a giant. She made me look very small even wearing my heels. I take my hat off to them, it must be particularly difficult when you are that tall or heavily built.

As usual I danced until my feet were sore then danced some more. A couple of gay young men from Essex, Mike and Lee asked me why I did it (i.e. why was I dressed as a girl). Mike said it all seemed very strange to him and had never seen anything like it (trannies) before. I told him I didn't choose to do it, it was an urge that was almost impossible to ignore and told him how I started when I was about 10.

Mike's partner Lee, said the same. They were gay and could understand that but to dress as the opposite sex was just weird. Unfortunately Lee behaved as an arsehole ( Sorry Lee but you did). He tried to lift my wig and poked me in the bra. I slapped his hand (well, I had to be ladylike didn't I? ha!)and told him I would report him to the management if he didn't behave. After that he was fine. I just put it down to alcohol , I am sure he is normally a great guy.

A young bunch of pretty lesbians came up to me and asked if I went with men or girls and I told them "girls". They all looked astounded as they assumed I would go with boys/men. I took that as a compliment.


I met Audrie and Hayley who were the nicest people you could meet.They persuaded me to dance some more with them and their group. Audrie is a scream. She is a party animal. After she persuaded me to get up and dance she started showing me how to dance what I can only describe as sexy women's dance moves: gyrating the hips and kind of belly dancing. I just laughed but she kept on and so for fun I copied her moves. I felt so silly at first but then just let go and enjoyed it. Next it was a move where I had to pull my shoulders back and shimmy. What a scream! Thank you for a great time girls.

A Spanish guy, Romario or something joined us. He started trying to chat up Audrie without any luck.

Audrie said to me 'No, you must not dance like that (My Gabriela Julie dance moves :thrashing my arms out, etc.) that's crap. Gays must dance like this (showing me her womanly moves)" So I told her I wasn't actually gay. She was so surprised! Then she gave me a big hug. Ha! They thought they had adopted a gay tranny.


Romario was not going to give up easily. He kept dancing right up to Audrie and eventually she literally run away. Then Romario turned his attention on Hayley. She managed to disappear.

What I hadn't expected was his attention turning on to me! He must have been desperate or much more drunk than he looked! Help!

I always thought that if a guy paid me any attention as Gabriela it would really give me a good feeling as it would mean I had " passed". The truth was quite the opposite. OK, dancing next to me was not a problem , but really guys- I'm not interested.

OK , it was really a mixed feeling.
I suppose it was a compliment with hindsight and it was a big boost for the ego that I had kind of "passed" but at the time I felt uncomfortable.

Actually now I have had time to reflect, surely every tranny wants to be admired? That's what we are: narcissists wanting some attention. That's why we make such a big effort to look right. That's why we take copious photos of ourselves in different outfits. We are seeking the compliments of our peers and anybody else who happens to be around.

So if a guy pays some attention it is something that we have been trying to achieve, even if it is only subconsciously. We are being treated as a woman and that's what we want. Maybe we only want the attention and nothing else but maybe we haven't thought it through.


So I will look back at that and take it as a compliment. It has certainly boosted my confidence as a tranny. Another first for the old girl then!

Another outing to Pink Punters.

It was a good night out on Saturday at PP . I met some diverse characters, danced a lot and chatted with a group of trannies who were all very friendly.

I got there without any "mishap" - well apart from mislaying my brush, so that I had a rather natural look.The place got busy quickly. I checked my make-up , bought a drink and soon a birthday group arrived and I ended up dancing with most of the women in the group.

After many dances I went upstairs and met a tranny admirer, a first -time out tranny named Sarah and the outrageous Lindsey Maybe, who had been going to PP for 5 years, Roxy who did pole dancing and was wearing thigh high pillar-box red PVC boots, a see through red top that seemed to finish as the skimpiest possible see-through skirt and huge boobs. As the top was see-through the boobs seemed to be coming at you. Nice one Roxy!

I danced with several pairs of lesbians and later the owner, Frank bought me a coke and had his photo taken with me! Fame at last! Ha!
I had just read about his Range Rover being set on fire in his car park and when I mentioned this he just shrug his shoulders in a " It happens" sort of way. That's pretty cool.

A gay young man spilt his drink over my latest handbag. I bought it when I went to a retro shop in London , he was really apologetic and said that normally he was really, really nice (hic!) and wouldn't do that. I kept saying it was OK and then he gave me a big hug!

Two of the trannies started dancing next to me and I was really embarrassed- by their dancing. Ha!
I stayed until 5:00.
Did I say no mishaps?
Well, I took the car key off the ring of keys intending to put the rest of the keys in the car, but forgot about it and left my home keys...at home.
So at 5:45 in the morning I was still in full makeup and frocked and I couldn't get into my house without breaking in and waking all th eneighbours. I had visions of going to find someone to change the locks on my house. I rang my ex who had a spare key to my front door. Phew!

I love putting make up on but not taking it off. But you can't have one without the other.

PINK PUNTERS- Another outing

Getting Ready

I shaved my armpits for the first time ever and I had to shave a bit more of my chest hair than normal as the top I was wearing was quite low, lower than other tops I've worn. This is no big deal for regular trannies who do clubs, but for me it was.

I didn't get to buy any batteries so I don't have any pictures. I know ! I know! Call myself a tranny!

I wanted to wear something different and after trying different combinations I wore some velvet trousers which I thought looked sensational and were a delight to wear. I must have lost some more weight since I first tried them on as they kept slipping down and towards the end I kept getting my heels caught in the hems so ended up holding my trousers legs as I danced.

Steady!

It was funny. First of all it took me ages to get ready- 2 1/2 hours. Then I realised the car was not parked outside the house but on the main road. So I walked up to the car all glammed up. I had to wear my high heels as otherwise my trousers would have been caught underneath my shoes and I would have fallen over, so it would not have been a wise move. Anyway, there was a guy across the road who saw me. Luckily it was dark and not particularly well lit up.

Trouble is most people around these parts are short and ( dare I say I) not slim and not about 6 ft 3 in heels. On top of that I usually park my car on the same spot. Oh well, if I'm outed I'm not ashamed.

Go
I changed my shoes and found a faster route to Pink Punters. Just before I got there my petrol light came on. I didn't want to risk running out of petrol later on especially as most of the garages would be closed. So I had to brave it. I put my heels back on otherwise the trousers would have been too long. As I was filling the petrol I could see the shop assistant looking at me intensely.

There were other cars around and there were four guys in and around their blue BMW. I had to walk right past them. the shop assistant was very good and just said " You' re alright mate "as I gave him the money.

Then as the BMW pulled away it tooted at me! That was a first time for me and I felt quite chuffed by it. When I told my friend I was told that I should have told the garage assistant to call me "Madam" and that I should have blown the Boys in Blue Car a kiss. Why didn't I think of that? I have no class.

In the Slow Lane

Inside PP I checked my make up and hair, got a drink and went upstairs. There were only a few trannies in PP at that time - about two others.

It started getting busy and I joined in the dancing for quite a while on my own. I find it easy now, just do my own thing and not worry about it. Then I went back upstairs to rest my feet. There was a group of real women there and one of them said " Aw, what's wrong?" As I was on my own. "I'm just resting my feet". " Well do you want a dance? Come on" then she said " well I have to go to the loo first so I'll see you a bit later"

After I had finished my drink I bought another and took it down where it was pinched. I should have learnt that lesson by now: don't put your drink down unless you are going to watch it like a hawk.

Cruising

The same woman had first said to me " Cabby? What sort of name is that?Are you are taxi driver or something?" Then later said " Oh there's Gabby and she beckoned me over and I joined them dancing. After a bit she said here's Eileen , have a dance with her. Eileen was younger and good looking. She smiled and started dancing with me, twirled herself then twirled me! I must admit I quite liked that.

We had a few dances then the older woman ( sorry darling, forgot your name) said " Will you help me find my friend" I thought she said her boyfriend . Eventually we found her friend Lisa and another girl. They looked at me and were both very friendly giving me compliments about my outfit and make up. I thought that was really considerate and nice of them. Lisa said that she had drank a lot but wanted to dance. She took my hand, rather like a man would take a girl's hand. She was tall and well built (not fat) and led me inside. Then she said she wanted to go to the loo first and would I go with her. So I did, thinking this was very odd but she must have had quite a few drinks.

In the fast lane

After we talked a bit I found out that she has a regular boyfriend but also enjoys other girls. I offered to buy her a drink and she said that she didn't want me to think that I could " pull" her as she was in a relationship. I told her that I was buying it as a friend, that I was in a relationship and I wouldn't try to pull anyone. I just wanted to have good time chatting and dancing. She gave me a big smile and told me that was wonderful. So all her group., I assume, were either bi-sexual or lesbians even though they didn't dress in a butch way.

Lisa told me her best friend , with whom she had been chatting to had been in prison " For being a heroin addict" but was a fantastic friend and person.

So they may have been deciding to get themselves a new bitch and were eyeing me up .Ha!

There is definitely an affinity beteen lesbians and trannies. I think lesbians don't see trannies as a threat and perhaps their macho behaviour makes them naturally want to treat trannies as a " weaker sex" . As Gabby I like to be treated as a girl so the lesbians' protective attitude is quite acceptable to me. Does that sound strange?

That group left soon after and Lisa didn't want to go as she wanted to chat and dance with me but eventually she left.

Back in the Slow Lane

You know when you wait for buses... well the other group was a hen party. There were a few gay men with the group as well. I was just dancing when a couple of the women in that party started dancing next to me, then with me and they really enjoyed the dances. I couldn't chat much because of the noise but I danced until 4:50!! Yay!

I am so glad I went out and that I went there. I wouldn't have felt comfortable in an ordinary club and I am sure I wouldn't have talked to so many people, plus of course I wouldn't get dressed up as Gabby to go to those places. There were a few more trannies later- a total of about seven.

I'm realising now that most people are not prejudiced and if I act in a bold way laughing at myself I get a positive reaction. That's what I did last night, put on a brave front and smiled as I went into the garage. If I ever get tooted at again darling I will blow them a kiss.

Last night I also danced with a few gays and I think a couple of them may have been straight as well. They just came up to me and started dancing in front of me so I just went along with it. There was one beefy guy who danced up to me but I think he had a gleam in his eye so I quickly danced away! Ha! I don't mind dancing with guys but I'm not interested in them in any way.

There was also a guy dressed as a cowboy. He came close up to me and looked at me. His girlfriend (or maybe just friend) said to me " Don't take any notice of him. He is mad" . Ha! Then he got out his shooter and banged me a few times!

Ha! the funny thing was when he shot his gun a red ball popped out of the barrel of his gun. The irony wasn't lost on me. It reminded me of the tip of a dick.

Another couple were dancing close to me and the guy, another beefy type, told me he loved the way I danced. Wow!! I was on a high. I looked at his girlfriend and she just shrugged her shoulders. Then he came up to me again and offered me what I thought was a shot of vodka. I looked at it and he said something like, well don't just look at it but I couldn't hear properly. I put it in my mouth. it tasted disgusting.

I had no idea what it was so I just turned round and spat it out. Maybe I was supposed to inhale it! It must have been some sort of drug as it had a small label on it and it was the size of a shot of vodka but in an opaque bottle. Perhaps someone can enlighten me. The only reason I took it was because earlier another couple came up to me and were very friendly and had offered me a shot of vodka which was surplus to their requirements.

The man from this couple told me that it was their first date and " Call me old fashioned but I want to make sure this will be a fantastic night for her to remember. " I just whispered in his ears " OMG! I wonder what you mean by that? " and we both laughed.

Because I was in a dress(well OK a velvet pair of wide flared trousers with a black flower attached to the belt, a cream and black flowery low cut top and grey handbag and grey and white thin scarf around my neck) and because I was at PP, everyone was treating me as a girl or at least as someone they could approach as being friendly and open and I suppose they could see I was having a good time dancing oh and er... may have been intrigued by a guy in drag who was having a good time on his/her own.

Overall I think they understood I was expressing my inner self and accepted it. I did go upstairs to chill out now and again but didn't get into any conversations. I bumped into Debbie and her amazingly good-looking tranny partner.

Changing Gear

I was actually thinking of going to PP en drab. I thought to myself " I don't have to get dressed up to have a good time. I can just act as I want and dance as I like" To be honest I wasn't really in the mood to get dressed up but I did want to go out. Once I decided on what to wear and started shaving and getting ready my mood changed. I was really into it and it did give me a big buzz. I think it was because I was going out in public as Gabriela and that side of me would be acknowledged by people. I loved being called " sweetheart" by the gay guy at the cloakroom and "darling" by the young tranny behind the bar and by some of the lesbians. Actually I love being tooted at as well! What am I like!! I might start going there more regularly, its nice now that I recognise a few faces I can say hello to.

Stopped in my tracks

There was one woman who saw me from about five yards whom I recognised. She stared and smiled at me but I don't think she recognised me. I shall soon find out.

The final furlong

Er, sorry for the length of this post. Hope I didn't bore you. I just wanted to remember as many of the details as possible as it was a good night. There were lots of people I danced with and managed to exchange a few words despite the noise: Kirsty( the bride to be), Maria, the Italian

beauty and all the others in the Hen party. The nice young tranny behind the bar in the great top, I am hopeless with names but thank you all for a fabulous night out.

You will notice that there are no puns in this post. Is this the first time I have passed in my posts?

HATS OFF TO JASPER

I had the privilege of being invited to the opening of Stephen Jones's exhibition at the Victoria & Albert Museum on Monday 23 Feb. He is the top hat designer in the UK and probably the world.

I had a really great night . I took lots of photos and even if I say so myself my daughters both looked gorgeous. I was so proud of them! I left my camera in daughter 1's bag so will have to wait until she returns it to me before I can post the photos ( Editor's note :now posted).

Daughter 1 had to finish an article for a website and made daughter 2 go really late because of that. Daughter 2 was standing over her shoulder saying " Send it now! Send it now!". I didn't know how late they would be and waiting outside for about an hour and a half. As I was by the steps, I had a fantastic view of all the celebrities attending. I'm not impressed by celebrities but it was a very satisfying experience.

I just missed out on the oysters as I had been outside most of the time and the last few were given out in front of my nose. The canapes were the smallest I had ever seen but delicious. I liked the cubes of hot beef with parsnip topping (at the time I had no idea what the topping was but it was quite bland) and the warm prawn on seeded biscuit. I will give up describing the food as I am obviously not very good at it.The pink champagne just flowed and flowed and the place itself is magnificent.

I met the husband of one of the girls I work with . He who is an architect currently working in Glasgow. He is in charge of the project to build the new transport museum there. He pointed out one of the main lighting designs in the V & A and told me his boss had designed it.Later I gate crashed Jasper Conran's group at the hotel opposite with my two daughters.

Jasper very kindly paid for our drinks even though he must have been miffed that his boyfriend was giving one of my fellow gate crashers lots of hugs and all the attention. Oops ! Am I dropping names? Honestly I'm not impressed by celebrities and that's what I said to Stephen Jones.

Gabriela Julie Budd does London

I am tired from today's (Weds 25 Feb) journey and lack of sleep. I went out with two real girls. One, Lauren, was visiting from Australia and the other was one of my daughters.

We took a slow train in to Euston, a bus to Holborn, I showed them St. Pancras church, we walked through Scicillian Avenue, I bought Lauren a half pint of Bitter in a quaint Victorian pub with stained glass windows, glass partitions and sectioned off "cubicles",walked to Covent Garden and saw some performers, carried on to Leicester Square and then China Town where we had a really nice meal, we chose between us: boiled rice, crispy duck with pancakes and plum sauce, prawn in a chili and black bean sauce and honey roasted pork.

We carried on walking to Trafalgar Square and saw some of the portraits in The National Gallery, carried on walking to the River Thames and saw Big Ben ( Stop it!!), The Houses of Parliament and Westminster Cathedral. Took a tube to Green Park, walked past The Ritz to Buckingham Palace and The Mall. Walked back through Dover Street where we popped into Dover Street Market - a showroom for lots of designers where we saw a man's jacket priced at £1,530-00.

Next we visited several retro vintage shops in Covent Garden and I bought a nice small tan handbag with a shoulder strap. My daughter bought a basketball shirt and wanted to buy a blue Adidas PVC sports bag for £50. I told her I had thrown out at least two of those when I was younger, one only because the zip wouldn't shut properly.

We had a coffee at Starbucks then took a bus to Piccadilly Circus and Regent Street then walked back to Leicester Square where we went into a funland centre (The Trocadero) where we played table hockey and had a ride on the bumper cars.

Lauren said it was the best day of her holidays and they both took lots of photos. damn! I didn't have a camera. Am I now disqualified for tourist spotting without due care and attention and do I have to give in my tranny licence?